Mend

I try to recover in my words
the meaning I've lost in my thoughts

I don't see why I have to deny that I'm damaged
What I've seen over the years has given me a different set of amends
Broken yes, I am by the turn of events
But I don't believe that's something I need to conceal
'cause I'm just done sitting back and trying to heal

Yes, I've seen violence like you never have, like I wish no one ever does
The gun fire my morning alarm, the gun fire my curfew
Were the smiles are  few and  the frown not new

I've been in a place were you sleep, breathe, dwell in screams and pain 
In fights and strain
In bombs and bullets old friends 
In grief and guilt broken

But somewhere it's taught me things
Dying taught me living
War taught me peace
And damaged taught me healed

I gulp

It's hard.
Hard to get back to normality after all that I've lost 
Hard not to feel jittery without a gun strapped to my waist
To not get lost on the line between bravery and cruelty 
And harder still to comprehend what the war did to me
It's hard to comprehend anything at all 

Bravery
My eyes skim over the word I just so nonchalantly used 
The war taught me different sides of brave
One was in standing up for what's right
One was in sacrifice for some greater good
And sometimes it was in nothing but brood

Not in action, not in revenge
Just in gritting your teeth through the pain
Inching your way forward through that dreary dark lane
Crawling maybe, but hoping still 

Be brave, don't fear

Dare to hope

We will mend each other. 



- Soumita Chakraborty