Mercy and Mend

“But I love you." I look up and stare at the eyes that claim to love me. They're dark and empty and that unsettles me. I want to see the eyes of a broken man. I want to see shards and pain and desperation, but all I see is a solid wall I can't look beyond. "I love you," he repeats. I sigh. "Yes. Maybe you do. I don't have a better word than love, but it's not the way I've known it to be like. It's not a love that builds; it's the kind that breaks and destroys. It's fierce and with a need so burning that I'm afraid we'll exhaust ourselves in the end. We go on like a house on fire and probably will collapse like one too. No,we're not the kind that get drunk on night outs and blush when our friends comment on us. We're the kind that frown because the other said something they were not supposed to. When staying out late, we're not the cute fridge magnet messages type; we're the frantic textin

Ever been there when you're happy about something that happened. Really, really happy and it's not the jumping up and down or the grinning ear to ear happy. It's a more...sober kind. You're happy, satisfied but you also know that this is probably not gonna last forever. You're not at peace with that though and you know it'll effing break you when it comes. But okay, it's not flawless, it could still get better but trust me if it ain't perfect. So you just sit there and smile. A heavy smile, heavy with the knowledge that this might change, it might not last but then you keep smiling anyway because who knows, maybe it just might?